Time to Breathe.

The last few months (the last 5 months to be exact) have been a whirlwind at our house, to say the least. However, right now the kids are bathed and in bed, dishes are done, I don't have papers to grade, and I simply have time to breathe...and I wanted to reflect on it all.

From the moment Trace was born, our lives were and never will be the same. In the best and craziest way possible. We have had a huge learning curve on how to parent two small children and have time to "do it all." I never could have been fully prepared for how different it is to have two children instead of just one. I think back to when I thought things were "tough" with Trinity and now I realize it was all "no big deal." Clint and I have learned how to truly be a team and rely on each other in every aspect of our lives. Being home this past summer with my kids was incredible, but inevitably it came time for me to go back to work. The paycheck was calling my name! As much as it broke my heart to leave my babies that first day back,(okay the first few weeks really!) the only way I can have peace about leaving my babies is to know that I absolutely love what I do and to believe, without a doubt, it is my mission in life, it is what God has called me to do. It's funny when you tell people that you teach high school, at first they look at you like your nuts and sometimes even apologize, however then when you add on the fact that you also teach mathematics, they just flat out think I am insane! I can't describe it but when I arrive at school each morning, although some mornings are tougher than others to leave my babies, I have a peace within me, I feel at home, knowing that I am where I am meant to be and that God will take care of the rest. I have the opportunity each day to influence the lives of so many young people and to help a few strugglers find faith in themselves again. If I can influence even just one of my 170+ students each year in a positive direction, then I know I have done my job. Does it get any better than that?

In honesty, going back to work this year has been much tougher than in years in the past, I have never felt pulled 100% in two directions before. I want to 100% be the best mom ever to my Trinity and Trace but I also 100% know that being in that classroom (as challenging as it is) is where God wants me to be. It's hard and sometimes a constant struggle, but I have to trust in the Lord and be reminded daily that He is sovereign (thank goodness!) and has it all under control. It has been a huge challenge finding time to balance it all and I am definatly still learning and figuring it all out. Clint is incredible and I couldn't do it without him. He is my true "other half." There have been tears, many sleepless nights, late night grading, early morning feedings, and plenty of just pure exhaustion, but when I simply sit back and reflect...all I can think about is how blessed I truly am. From breakfast to bedtime, I don't stop. I can't. But at the end of the day, it is ALL worth it. Clint, Trinity, Trace, , my students, and so much more....it's worth it.

So as I sit and simply breathe for a few moments...I am reminding myself that God is good, no God is great. My husband rocks and is truly my best friend! My Trinity and my Trace are the highlights and loves of my life and everything I do is for them; and my job is my calling. It sure doesn't suck to be me.

Nighty night.